Not Everyone Gets a Trophy

Life teaches some hard lessons. The sooner we can learn and apply these lessons, the better our lives will be. At least that is what I am teaching my kids.

This weekend my son learned a very hard lesson. Not everyone gets a trophy.

He is 10 and has poured the last six months of his life into competing in a robotics league. He and his other four teammates, all the same age, competed against kids 9-15 years old. In the first regional competition a few months ago they swept the competition, beating out middle schoolers and teams that had been together multiple years in his team’s first year of eligibility. The win gave them great pride, lots of awards and a berth to the State Championship.

At the state competition, things didn’t come so easily. Many of these kids came from science academies, private schools or were just more experienced. His team performed admirably and finished seventh out of 56.

During the awards ceremony, some judge’s choice awards were given out to several teams for doing this or that. His team didn’t receive such an award. No trophy, no certificate. They received the exact same thing as the last place team.

It has been a hard pill for him to swallow. He is struggling with the why, the subjectivity in judging, and the lack of respect. He feels slighted.

I’ve tried to guide his thought process as best I can. I’ve lived his disappointment many times in my life. The most important question I asked him was one I often ask myself.

“If you knew for certain that all of your hard work would result in no awards, no recognition, no scholarships and no trophy, would you still do it?”

Therein lies how I define passion. What do you do for the joy of doing, not the joy of reward?

As a kayak angler, do you fish in tournaments for the hope of gainful returns or for the true joy of competing? Are all of your attempts to educate newcomers to the sport laced with product advertisements so you can check the boxes on an agreement or can you recommend the right thing for a person rather than just your thing? Do we offer to help rig out a new guy’s kayak since we’ve done it before and he has boat hole anxiety? And if we do, are we expecting payment?

Passion is knowing not everyone gets a trophy and doing it anyway. Passion is putting forth your best effort and letting the chips fall where they may. Passion is not regretting time spent growing something for the greater good.

Kayak fishing has a lot of passionate anglers. I hope that fire burns long and hot into the future. May the new guys see the passion over commercialism, understand that hard work from the community makes us better and sometimes, you will come up short of your goals.

A job well done is a pretty good trophy. 

Fishing with Kids: Adventure Over Fish

If you enjoy the outdoors and have young children, you may have thought about taking them fishing. Some of the hesitant dads I've visited with worry about if they will like it. They worry about not catching fish. They worry their kids will not really want to fish. 

The fact is, kids are just kids. They don't have the hangups and expectations you do. The outside world is a bigger playground to explore with boundless limits. If you decide to spend your time fishing on a fishing trip with kids, don't plan on fishing. Plan to spend time giving instruction and celebrating small victories. Don't be surprised when your future fisherman wants to explore and look for bugs or fossils rather than fish. Encourage it. 

The adventure of the trip is what will keep them wanting to come back. 

If you have a kayak, take your child along. Rent a small kayak for them or just go play in yours. Eventually as they get more comfortable you can incorporate fishing too. Tandem kayaks are great for these outings and are often available for rental if you don't have one. 

I didn't get my start in fishing from a kayak but it was an adventure that kept me coming back for more.

I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn't have a fishing pole. I also can’t remember the first time I went fishing. I have a few vague, water color type memories of small bream and a sunset but nothing else to really tie them together as a memory.

I do remember when I became hooked on fishing though. Every single detail.

My dad had taken me to Lake Trammel, a small impoundment outside Sweetwater, Texas. He and my grandfathers had outfitted me with a few lures they felt they could part with, a rod, a Zebco 33 and a lot of smiles, shoved into a small tackle box. Dad had found an area with lots of coontail that held some black bass. When we arrived, he tried every avenue to convince me to not tie on a lipless crankbait. He knew in short order the gold Cordell Rattlin’ Spot I tied on my line would be a donation to Poseidon. 

30 seconds later he thought he was right. After a short cast and a couple of cranks I was tugging, pulling and making quite a racket. I couldn't get my lure back. He sauntered over with a half smirk on his face when I was pulled forward. Weeds don’t pull back! After a short fight he held the fish while I ran to get that blue stringer I had insisted on bringing along.

 A two and a half pound giant black bass was toted home and shown to anyone who would look. After a few pictures, most of which I cried through because of the bristled teeth of my foe, the bass was prepared and made into a nice meal. The cycle had been completed and a new angler born. Little did any of us know that this one bass would start a fire that has yet to be put out.

The adventure, the story I would tell is what kept me asking to go back for more. The approval I was met with was great but when I think fondly about that trip, I see the trees, the water, the big, big world that was different than what I was used to. I remember the stringer. I remember that lure. I remember it 30 years later like it was yesterday. The adventure is what I seek and crave even to this day. That's why a day on the water without catching a fish is still a relaxing, refreshing experience. 

Go out and create some adventure!

Investing in Life

Stock markets rise and fall. Instability is a worry for many and uncertain futures leave many questioning where to invest. How do I secure my future? How do I make sure everything is ok?

Money isn't the only thing you can invest.

Admittedly, I was late to the party for Mumford & Sons. Sometimes new music doesn't get as much time as it deserves. I've been burned too many times (freaking Nickelback). I gave them a try, liked them and downloaded their  "Live at Red Rocks" album. I like all of it but one particular song haunts me. Literally. I'll wake up in the middle of the night with the lyrics singing in my head. I'll be at my desk and bubbling up to the top of my consciousness come the same words. The song is "Awake My Soul". The slow bellowing of the title lyrics is bad enough to cause a haunting but the bridge inspires and taunts me.

"In these bodies we will live. In these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life."

Let that wash over you for a minute.

You get one go. One life. Whatever you choose to love is what your life will ultimately be about. Chase the dollar, that's your legacy. Stand for family, your legacy is that. But it's not just what you want it to be. It's where you actually INVEST your love.

I think of guys like Jim Dolan and Dave Potts with Heroes on the Water. That is a true investment and no doubt part of their lives.Every conversation I have ever had with these gentlemen has been about helping our wounded soldiers get on the water. The healing that this organization does is a monumental example of investing in others.

For me I struggle with irons in the fire. I have a lot of them. Do I love my 8-5 job? Not really. I invest time there to pay the bills. I do that out of love because I want to provide for my family that I love so much. It's an investment, albeit a small one.

My real love investment comes packaged as time. My kids ask very little of me except for time. I am blessed that they love the outdoors as much as I do. Sharing time on the water with them is a huge investment I want to make more deposits into. Seeing my  nine year old son manhandle a kayak in rough winds and grinning ear to ear while doing so radiates a deep warmth in the caverns of my soul. It awakens me to love and life. It combines two strong loves to create what I hope to be my legacy one day.

When it is all said and done, where will you invest your life?

Making Memories

Believe it or not, I don't get paid to fish, (inflection of sarcasm and a smirk).Very, very few fishermen do. I work in the medical field, on the bean counter side, for my daily paycheck. Doing what I do, I interview lots of folks for lots of different positions. I have a pretty standard set of questions that I have developed over the last decade or so and then I have my  favorite question. I ask each candidate, "What was your best day at work ever? Tell me about it." This questions tells you a lot about the person's passions, their focus and what makes them tick. I have heard some amazing stories asking this question, especially in the medical field. I have also heard some not so great answers.

Yesterday I asked the question a few times during interviews and was told an amazing story by one of the candidates. I still can't get that story out of my head. It really showed the passion this candidate has for their job and those they serve. Today, I find myself asking a similar question.

If I asked my kids what their favorite day ever was, what would it be? 

My kids are almost 9 and 5. I know they are impressionable and prone to like new shiny things. But what is my time with them meaning to them? Do our fishing trips  even rank in the top 10 for them? How well do I know what is painting beautiful pictures in my kids' minds? 

A favorite memory is not just a picture or a smile. When you think back on it, even though time has passed, it evokes an emotional response. You might tear up a bit, you might laugh, you might just get all warm and fuzzy. Any way you slice it though, that memory is buried deep. It lives with you, with its own heartbeat, waiting to be called to the forefront so it can give you a big hug again. 

That's what I want to create. As parents, we need to strive to give our children as many beautiful paintings as we can. Planning those special outings, teaching about nature, fishing, ecosystems and the balance of life are duties we should proudly carry out, especially if we want our children to pass along our passion to their kids. 

When they someday leave the nest, I hope in a moment of sadness, they can recall one of the great memories they shared with me and feel that warm fuzzy hug, looking at a beautiful picture we made together. And then I hope they call me so I can reassure them everything is going to be ok. 

Water Safety for Kids

It's too easy to make a mistake.

You're loading up the truck with a kayak or two and that little voice rings through the garage, "Daddy, can I go?" You may have planned on her asking but did you really plan on her going?

According to the CDC, 350 children die every year in boating related drownings.

How do you prevent that?

Planning properly.

It's human nature to think that would never happen to you. You can protect them. You will hold them on your lap. The water's not that deep. I'm a great swimmer.

I've heard them all. The plain and simple fact is no one plans on disaster happening to them. With a little planning, a little awareness and some ground rules, most of those 350 would be at home with their parents instead of living only through the emotional scars their parents now bare.

I know it feels like I am preaching, and maybe I am, but this is IMPORTANT.

Here are the steps I have taken and believe you should too to ensure safety for every child that gets on one of my kayaks. This may not be the end all be all list but you need to have some list of rules and know it by heart. And then, once you have the rules, don't make exceptions. Again, these are my rules, not Texas State Law except where noted.

Any child in a kayak must have a proper life jacket on and secured properly.
Texas law states "Children under 13 years of age in or on vessels under 26 feet must wear a U.S. Coast Guard approved wearable PFD while underway."
Get a life jacket that is weight rated for the child and fits properly. A Type II is better than a Type III because it will, under most circumstances, float the child face up. PFD Types Click Here. 

Children under 12 cannot ride alone in a kayak until they have met my adult qualifications.  (My Rule)
It seems archaic and overprotective to some but, using a boat that can flip on top of you, weighs more than you do and is not an easy re-entry if you fall out are recipes for danger. 

All paddlers must go through an orientation with the boat. 
It only takes a few minutes but it is important to know safety on the kayak, regardless of age, but children especially need to know what to do.

Open water re-entry experiences are a must. The first time I took my eight year old out with me I explained what we were going to do. I said we would jump off the kayak into the water. I instructed him to stay where he was. I reminded him the life jacket will float him and I would come to him once I re-entered the kayak. I was probably over explaining things but he understood. We jumped off and he did great. He watched to make sure he didn't get run over by the kayak. When it got too near him he pushed himself away while I got back on. I scooped him up and he did great! He didn't panic. I had explained everything. Paddling back to the shore I purposefully dug in and flipped the boat without telling him. I watched him calm himself down quickly and take in the surroundings. He assessed the situation. He showed me he was ok and waited for me to get back on the kayak and scoop him up. Another success. You have to do this with your kids. You have to learn how to coach them when on the water. This is how people survive bad situations. Preparation. 

The water is warm now. Do this now. Don't wait until winter. Don't wait until the water is cold. 


This all takes some time and preparation but if it saves just one life next year that is one more child who gets to become an adult. One more set of parents who aren't grieving over a simple mistake. Take the time to be ready for when that little girl or boy asks to do what you are doing. When they ask to go kayak with you, have a life jacket, have a plan and have a blast making memories that will last forever.  

Investments

Stock markets rise and fall. Instability is a worry for many and uncertain futures leave many questioning where to invest. How do I secure my future? How do I make sure everything is ok?

Money isn't the only thing you can invest.

Admittedly, I was late to the party for Mumford & Sons. Sometimes new music doesn't get as much time as it deserves. I've been burned too many times (freaking Nickelback). I gave them a try, liked them and last month downloaded their  "Live at Red Rocks" album. I like all of it but one particular song haunts me. Literally. I'll wake up in the middle of the night with the lyrics singing in my head. I'll be at my desk and bubbling up to the top of my consciousness come the same words. The song is "Awake My Soul". The slow bellowing of the title lyrics is bad enough to cause a haunting but the bridge inspires and taunts me.

"In these bodies we will live. In these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life."

Let that wash over you for a minute.

You get one go. One life. Whatever you choose to love is what your life will ultimately be about. Chase the dollar, that's your legacy. Stand for family, your legacy is that. But it's not just what you want it to be. It's where you actually INVEST your love.

I think of guys like Jim Dolan and Dave Potts with Heroes on the Water. That is a true investment and no doubt part of their lives.Every conversation I have ever had with these gentlemen has been about helping our wounded soldiers get on the water. The healing that this organization does is a monumental example of investing in others.

For me I struggle with irons in the fire. I have a lot of them. Do I love my 8-5 job? Not really. I invest time there to pay the bills. I do that out of love because I want to provide for my family that I love so much. It's an investment, albeit a small one.

My real love investment comes packaged as time. My kids ask very little of me except for time. I am blessed that they love the outdoors as much as I do. Sharing time on the water with them is a huge investment I want to make more deposits into. Seeing my  eight year old son manhandle a kayak in rough winds and grinning ear to ear while doing so radiates a deep warmth in the caverns of my soul. It awakens me to love and life. It combines two strong loves to create what I hope to be my legacy one day.

When it is all said and done, where will you invest your life?

Not What I Wanted

“Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.” 
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture


With a two hour window Sunday afternoon, I decided to see if I could get in some father-son fishing time. I packed the camera, hawg trough, net, gear, baits, paddles and all the other necessary gear to have a great time. If I could nab some extra Kayak Wars it would be a huge bonus but I really wanted to catch some fish.    

I had located a schooling spot for some whites and hybrids last week so I figured it would be the perfect spot to take Z. We loaded up the tandem and headed out. Launching was fairly uneventful and before long we were setting up on my spot. I lowered the anchor and we started fishing. The wind, boat wakes and open water made for a pretty bumpy time and 10 minutes into fishing I decided to pull up anchor and move. As I tugged on the line I knew something was wrong. I could pull the anchor toward me but it the weight didn't equal what I knew I had tied on. With my polarized shades I could see a large shape rising, an old folding chair, that had tangled my anchor line. This was not what I wanted. With the chop, the added weight and being unable to free the anchor I had to disconnect it. Safety is always paramount and the situation was worsening so I did what needed to be done. 

The next ten minutes I tried to hold us in place to fish against the wind and chop but soon realized fishing in this spot was no longer a possibility. The only way to have a shot at fishing the spot was to bank the kayak, get out and try to make long casts so we did. Again, not what I wanted. A few minutes into bank fishing I could see Z was getting bored. He had constructed a tower of rocks, was milling about and had his head down looking for something interesting in the rocks. Ugh. Not what I wanted. I had to do it. I had to ask about home.

"Z, do you wanna head home? This isn't really panning out for us today," I sheepishly commented, dreading the answer.

"Not really. I was hoping you could show me how to skip a rock," came the answer.

His answer caught me off guard. It seemed pretty simple but teaching an eight year old to skip a rock can be difficult. My patience was already on the short side and this really wasn't what I had envisioned for our trip but ok. Sure. Let's work on skipping a rock. 

A small physics lesson later and a couple of tries he did it! Even better he was able to repeat it. Cool. 
A few tosses later he said he was ready to go home. We piled onto the tandem and shoved off. I had stowed all the gear underneath so he decided to stretch out a bit. I took a quick picture and then paddled for the ramp. 

After I loaded the kayak on the roof rack and started up the hill I asked if he had fun, again dreading the hem hawing that was about to commence. Again, Z surprised me. He said he had a lot of fun. 

Less than two hours removed from the house, no fish caught, little paddling done and me feeling like a failure on what I promised the day would be like this day had been a failure to me. Not at all what I wanted. I had to know more. Was he just being polite?

When I asked him, he said he really liked being able to paddle some, he finally learned how to skip a rock and it was sunny. He had no expectations of catching fish and didn't really care. He wanted to paddle and skip rocks. 

Kids and experience are amazing teachers if you will just listen to the lesson they are teaching. I viewed the day as a failure but to the one who really mattered it was a great success. He had accomplished a new milestone and got to paddle too! 

I included the Pausch quote today as a reminder of what my attitude should be when I don't get what I want. I wanted to catch fish. I wanted him to catch a bunch of fish. I wanted to paddle quite a bit, take some pictures and maybe even bank some KW points. He wanted to paddle and learn to skip a rock. I am so far from being a great dad but I am getting plenty of experience. I hope I can accidentally stumble into more good times for him when I don't get what I want for me. My son is a great teacher. He just doesn't know it yet.

Water Safety for Kids

*As Spring is all but upon us, this is an important reminder I posted last summer about kids' safety on the water.


It's too easy to make a mistake.

Type II Child PFD

You're loading up the truck with a kayak or two and that little voice rings through the garage, "Daddy, can I go?" You may have planned on her asking but did you really plan on her going?
According to the CDC, 350 children die every year in boating related drownings.

How do you prevent that?
Planning properly.

It's human nature to think that would never happen to you. You can protect them. You will hold them on your lap. The water's not that deep. I'm a great swimmer.

I've heard them all. The plain and simple fact is no one plans on disaster happening to them. With a little planning, a little awareness and some ground rules, most of those 350 would be at home with their parents instead of living only through the emotional scars their parents now bare.

I know it feels like I am preaching, and maybe I am, but this is IMPORTANT.

Here are the steps I have taken and believe you should too to ensure safety for every child that gets on one of my kayaks. This may not be the end all be all list but you need to have some list of rules and know it by heart. And then, once you have the rules, don't make exceptions. Again, these are my rules, not State Law except where noted.

Any child in a kayak must have a proper life jacket on and secured properly.
Texas law states "Children under 13 years of age in or on vessels under 26 feet must wear a U.S. Coast Guard approved wearable PFD while underway."
Get a life jacket that is weight rated for the child and fits properly. A Type II is better than a Type III because it will, under most circumstances, float the child face up. PFD Types Click Here. 

All paddlers must go through an orientation with the boat. 
It only takes a few minutes but it is important to know safety on the kayak, regardless of age, but children especially need to know what to do.

Open water re-entry experiences are a must. 
The first time I took my eight year old out with me I explained what we were going to do. I said we would jump off the kayak into the water. I instructed him to stay where he was. I reminded him the life jacket will float him and I would come to him once I re-entered the kayak. I was probably over explaining things but he understood. We jumped off and he did great. He watched to make sure he didn't get run over by the kayak. When it got too near him he pushed himself away while I got back on. I scooped him up and he did great! He didn't panic. I had explained everything. Paddling back to the shore I purposefully dug in and flipped the boat without telling him. I watched him calm himself down quickly and take in the surroundings. He assessed the situation. He showed me he was ok and waited for me to get back on the kayak and scoop him up. Another success. You have to do this with your kids. You have to learn how to coach them when on the water. This is how people survive bad situations. Preparation. 

This all takes some time and preparation but if it saves just one life next year that is one more child who gets to become an adult. One more set of parents who aren't grieving over a simple mistake. Take the time to be ready for when that little girl or boy asks to do what you are doing. When they ask to go kayak with you, have a life jacket, have a plan and have a blast making memories that will last forever. 

Your Favorite Day Ever

Believe it or not, I don't get paid to fish, (inflection of sarcasm and a smirk).Very, very few fishermen do. I work in the medical field, on the bean counter side, for my daily paycheck. Doing what I do I interview lots of folks for lots of different positions. I have a pretty standard set of questions that I have developed over the last decade or so and then I have my new favorite. I ask each candidate, "What was your best day at work ever? Tell me about it." This questions tells you a lot about the person's passions, their focus and what makes them tick. I have heard some amazing stories asking this question, especially in the medical field. I have also heard some not so great answers. 

Yesterday I asked the question a few times during interviews and was told an amazing story by one of the candidates. I still can't get that story out of my head. It really showed the passion this candidate has for their job and those they serve. Today, I find myself asking a similar question.

If I asked my kids what their favorite day ever was, what would it be? 

My kids are almost 8 and 4. I know they are impressionable and prone to like new shiny things. But what is my time with them meaning to them? Do our fishing trips  even rank in the top 10 for them? How well do I know what is painting beautiful pictures in my kids' minds? 

A favorite memory is not just a picture or a smile. When you think back on it, even though time has passed, it evokes an emotional response. You might tear up a bit, you might laugh, you might just get all warm and fuzzy. Any way you slice it though, that memory is buried deep. It lives with you, with its own heartbeat, waiting to be called to the forefront so it can give you a big hug again. 

That's what I want to create. As parents, we need to strive to give our children as many beautiful paintings as we can. Planning those special outings, teaching about nature, fishing, ecosystems and the balance of life are duties we should proudly carry out, especially if we want our children to pass along our passion to their kids. 

When they someday leave the nest, I hope in a moment of sadness, they can recall one of the great memories they shared with me and feel that warm fuzzy hug, looking at a beautiful picture we made together. And then I hope they call me so I can reassure them everything is going to be ok.